December 17, 2015, Author: wordvendor,

A Subconscious Intervention

He’s looking outside himself again – It’s the same position as before – Always blaming someone or something – without ever taking into consideration all the other truth available – Symbols seem to help him, though – The Christ cross – the Bodhi tree – or whatever else he might happen upon – or it’s flat out back to Atheism or some other unimaginable extreme position – Or a day of Pema Chodron leads to a day of Alan Watts, which leads him back to Richard Alpert and then it’s a full-on personal growth revelation at that point – every savior needs a victim –

No, he needs to find it in himself this time – And not that we haven’t tried – like with music, he listens – From “The last living boy in New York” a few weeks ago – and Sam Cooke was good for him – and then on to Jacques Brel “The City Has Fallen Asleep” and he even learned a few more words in French, so that’s Three now – then on to Son House “Death Letter Blues” which lead him straight through Tom and Jerry’s dream, and “A Bridge over Troubled Water” my ass – he’s got it  so easy –

So maybe it’s time to try a deeper realm – another symbolic dream perhaps – like the one where that little mouse gets away, till he finally sees the part of himself he’s trying to catch – Or take him out beyond the cosmic realm, out past all the preconditions – where all his excuses lose their will, it’s where his best ideas are hidden –

Because he does pay attention now and then – or at least it seems that way, for all it’s worth – he still tries to escape from it, though – those emotions he runs from – his “unfortunate past” remember? – Right about the same time he forgets the present moment again – Because “It’s all happening at once” – remember when he said that? – What an idiot –

But it’s the numbing that bothers me the most – those futile attempts to control what’s beyond his own realm – through the social web, or some media craze, and if you think it’s a problem then a drug gets made – but it’s all the same drug for sale –

So let’s just scare him a little maybe, really wake him up this time – get his brother to irritate him first and then in through the back door we’ll come – teach him to be grateful for what he has already – there’s so much to be grateful for – like this Billion to one chance to complain about his life on a planet that might not be around much longer –

And a while ago, when he got so close – back when he almost had it all worked out– through all of the real and imaginary pain he accepted – and he actually moved beyond it for a moment – It was beautiful, though, when he trusted himself – because we all know that’s what it’s all about –

It’s just not the same anymore, though, I don’t think – like our Century got lost in the Neanderthal wing – because it’s an extreme in every direction these days – and even the good is bad when you look at it for too long that way – So maybe reality needs a marketing plan, because it’s just too boring for most people – I mean, I understand – it’s even boring for me to watch him –

And I suppose he’ll try to accomplish something now – try to manipulate some love out of someone, somewhere, somehow – So now I’m going to need to try something else – maybe give him some more back pain so he listens to doctor Sarno – because everybody knows his extreme beliefs and resulting behaviors are all psychosomatic as well – But he never hears it from that point of view, he just complains about the world again and then his back is still killing him too –

So maybe I’ll just put some voices in his head, like some psycho killer, but the voices would be good instead – like just a word or a phrase while he’s lying half awake, like “TRAVERS” was a good one – or “FILL ME UP” with that image of Saraswati –

Or maybe I should just come out and say it at this point, just to see if he still disagrees – that the world he’s been living in was a lie he constructed, and that the truth he’s been looking for is… – well, I am him (along with some other cosmic related spiritually evolved aspects we won’t get into here) but he’ll probably never believe me –

Beutiful Sky

2 Responses to A Subconscious Intervention

  1. Michael B. Field says:

    I get that. The truth is I don’t really believe in right or wrong; we invented that and “everything” is in our nature as humans, good or bad. I don’t really believe in that either; there are just things I wouldn’t do and those I would. And part of me says “fuck ’em all”; just nuke ’em all, but the other part thinks they’re just like us but different. But I believe everyone has the right to be happy and healthy for their own reasons. My Dad used to say “I don’t agree with what they say but I will fight to the death for their right to say it”. The hell with that. I won’t fight for it unless I believe it. Truth is sometimes subjective and your truth might not be mine. But half truths are propaganda.
    I ate “The body and drank the blood” of christ; it says so on the certificate, in gold leaf that I received for my first communion. Holy shit, it really says that. In first grade they asked me (in catholic school) if I were held at gunpoint whether I would deny christ or die for my belief in him. I raised my hand…yes, I would die. I think about that a lot, not whether I would die for my belief; I no longer hold it… I was brainwashed in catechism, but how they could ask a bunch of first graders to die for christ in the first place. Now I don’t believe in god, but I don’t know for sure and I’m not holding my breath, but if there is I hope I get the chance to punch him in his face when I die.
    Well now only small things make me happy. Things like a perfectly baked potato or seeing a friend I haven’t seen for a long time…or one I have. That whole Van Morrison album; “Irish Heartbeat”, Seeing a bobcat in broad daylight in the backyard or a new pine tree. Hapinesses that are permanent and come in small doses and that’s all I get now and that’s just fine with me.

    • wordvendor says:

      Hey Michael, that is pretty extreme to ask of a kid. pretty awesome you went for it, though. Can’t be good without the bad, I understand, but we do have some inherent good, or love and kindness, designed in at this point – love for our family, friends, pets, ourselves, if anything to perpetuate the species, but to survive might be considered good. Hey, you’re right then, we might have just selfishly made it up. 🙂

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