June 1, 2015, Author: wordvendor,

That’s what makes this so difficult?

So if I get hired to do a job, then I have every right to be upset if I’m not compensated for it. But with any artistic endeavor, it’s like choosing to do a job that no one ever asked you to do in the first place – at least in the beginning, anyway. So it’s a stretch to be upset if nothing comes from it.

So I try to remind myself why I started doing all this to begin with. Because it wasn’t for the attention, or for any label to hire me, or even for the chicks back then – all that came later. I mean, expecting all that, anyway. But that was after my ego high jacked the whole thing and I’ve been negotiating for hostages ever since.

But I remember it now, just sittin’ out on the curb with my guitar when I was a kid – just coming up with stuff and expressing myself because it felt good. And then maybe I’d hear something from somewhere else once and a while and it felt even better adding that in. But I did it because I liked doing it, and that was it. And it felt good trying to do it better the next time, too.

So it’s nice getting back to this place. I mean, my ego still threatens to blow the whole thing up once in a while, but that just means I’m on to something.

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